Monday, October 19, 2009

More on Zombie Strategy

One of the big zombie questions is whether, when the invasion comes, it's a good strategy for the untutored like me to try to team up with a bunch of Role Playing Gamers who have gamed, like, hundreds of zombie scenarios and who, consequently, will have given the matter a lot of serious thought.

Conservative columnist Jonah Goldberg says no: "Even if you've gamed this a million times, when the zombies come, I'd still rather be embedded with with a bunch of Navy SEALS caught completely by surprise." See The Zombie Mob.

8 comments:

Sean Harvey said...

I think it has to deal with mental preparedness I wouldn't say my chances of survival are higher because I've played a bunch of zombie games. I'm prepared because when the unholy moment arises I will be ready to drop the false notion that my family and friends can be cured once bitten. I'm sorry Uncle Myk if you get bit, you'll be the first to go, it's a harsh reality but its one we will have to live with. That's why I think that the marines wouldn't be a good group to be around. Since I am sure their group camaraderie will affect their decisions if one were to be bit. No doubt their shooting ability is better than mine but letting someone who is bit stay around you is like sitting on a pulled grenade, sooner or later it's going to go off.

And this mental preparedness is because I've given the situation a lot of thought. Plus a boat is a terrible idea, I mean maybe as a short term solution, but where is the sustainability unless you can some how make a green house and have tons of desalination units going but that would have to be ready months in advance, not really the spur of the moment 'oh my god zombies are here' situation.

James R said...

I defer to Sean's expertise in this area. He makes good sense. I am not without some familiarity in this area, however, and, as usual, have a different perspective.

First, let me put the zombie plague in more recognizable terms. It is basically a giant game of 'blacksmith' or 'catch-one-catch-all', only the other team has to walk...slowly! So most of us already have a lot of experience and some tested strategies. Unfortunately, while hiding in the Sittman's bushes will keep you undetected for a long lifetime, the problem with the game is: it doesn't end, and you eventually have to eat.

This is the bane of all zombie infestations: There is currently no known method to create, harvest and consume food while remaining undetectable. Thus you begin the often documented vicious cycle of (1)rising fear followed by (2)nervousness, (3)unclear thinking, and (4)stupid mistakes. (More likely than not, between steps (3) and (4) is 'need for companionship'[see stupid mistakes])

So I would like to propose a different strategy. Join the other side! Being a zombie is a lot more fun than living a life of constant fear. For you socialists, it is the ultimate commune. The synergies of zombies working together are incredible. Sure you will always have a gnawing desire for human flesh and move a bit slower, but, let's face it, in this day and age aren't we all looking for a way to slow down and chill out. In addition, your ranks will always growing You will never lose a zombie to the other side. It would be nice to be on the winning side for once.

Big Myk said...

I can't buy into Jim's alternative strategy. First, spending the rest of your life constantly plodding around at an excruciatingly slow speed has got to be about the most boring thing imaginable. Plus, all the pleasures of human existence -- food, drink, sex, a good game of utlimate frisbee -- as a zombie, these just ain't gonna happen. Finally, in all likelihood you'll be taken out by a crack team of Navy SEALS; either that, or you'll be dispatched by a band of dedicated gamers who have been anticipating this opportunity for a long time.

Peter H of Lebo said...

For Jim- The Zen of Zombie: Better Living Through the Undead by Scott Kenemore

For everyone else, really helped fix the flaws in my zombie contingency plan-The Zombie Survival Guide: Complete Protection from the Living Dead by Max Brook. The bible of zombie survival guides.

James R said...

Thanks Pete. I'll check out both guides.

I'm still not sure which side floats my boat, but I would like to say a couple things to help everyone make an intelligent decision. Full disclosure; I have gone both ways. And, believe me (and I'm sure Sean will back me up if he has as much experience as he suggests), the zombie side is A LOT MORE fun.

I admit I had much trepidation in going zombie. It is completely against my 'Myth of Sisyphus' philosophy of "embrace the struggle." However, once you make the plunge, hopefully with 4 or 5 friends, you quickly evolve into what I can only describe as a higher life form. Say good-bye to Ayn Rand self-sufficient elitists and say hello to the selfless, democratic mob. Zombies know more about group dynamics than an AA meeting.

As your ranks swell, so does your enthusiasm. You can't suppress a knowing smile as all those rugged, I-know-better-than-thou Navy Seals, Green Berets, and even seasoned gamers, scramble, scramble, and finally succumb to the growing horde.

Sure there are the drawbacks of exploding gasoline tanks and semi-automatic weapons, but 1) what doesn't kill you only makes you stronger (what is the chance of a bullet piercing your brain?) and 2) as a college educated zombie you just stay away from the front lines.

Big Myk said...

I confess that I like the thoughts of this Jonah Goldberg correspondent: "Seeking refuge is not the appropriate answer in response to a Zombie outbreak. It would simply postpone the inevitable. . . . The conclusion is: the only way to overcome a zombie infestation is by constantly attacking the zombies themselves. Forget the boats, fuel, etc. What is required is high-powered weaponry, plenty of ammo and a bad-ass attitude. And my wife asks me why I need to purchase another 500 rounds of .556 mm NATO."

Plus, I like the motto of the zombie squad: "We make dead things deader."

Sean Harvey said...

I'm not touching on Jim's comments with a 12 foot pole.

Peter H of Lebo said...

Same thing Max Brook states, easier to get trap seeking refuge- Use your head, cut off theirs.