Monday, April 1, 2013

Definition of God series "Changed my life!"

Reports have been streaming in across the internet in praise of the "In Progress: Top Ten Definitions of God". "OMG!" exclaimed In Progress long time reader Seamus McMurphy. "When I saw the first article I said to myself 'Oh crap! Another lame religious rant.' They're more popular than porn. I was going to cancel my subscription. But then in a weak moment I read it and was hooked! It changed my life! Sign me up for five more years."

Reverend Right of St. Swithin's parish in Beltzhoover wrote, "JMJ! Powerful stuff. I learned a lot. Who knew about Paul Tillich or Rudolf Bultmann or even St. Paul, for that matter? I had my eyes opened. We are returning our newly ordered Baltimore Catechism, LXXVI edition, for copies of The Cost of Discipleship. Our CCD program is going to be completely updated for the first time since, well, for the first time. Thanks so much for waking us up to the modern world."

"I've been following In Progress ever since I discovered it is done by the same people who scared the vomit out of me and my kids on Halloween. Now they've done the same thing with God," emailed 'good neighbor'. "You guys taught me not to get my science from uneducated bozos who think trees get their mass through roots or gravity from massive bodies. Now I learn the same thing about God and religion. Makes sense to me. I'm going to the experts. I now have Barth and Whitehead next to my Darwin and Bohr."

Celebrity blogger, ZZZ, also chimed in. "Like top ten lists are so cray. I'm reaching the God definitions. I need a make-over. No chirp, the list was styll."

—APRIL FOOLS

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